I'm kinda pissed, but satisfied otherwise.
Alright, these are my lovely disjounted thoughts for now. Maybe I'll have some mroe later . =)
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I've been quiet and haven't said too much since Monday, but I am managing to deal with Bear's passing, and getting better each day. Not to say there still isn't a huge gaping hole in my heart, but I'm dealing.
So, after I got back from the vet on Monday morning, I took a Xanax, as I was more than a bit traumatized. I tried to lay down and sleep, but was restless and kept getting up and pacing around. And looking at all of Bear's stuff, like his dog dishes and toys.
Jullie, my roomate came home early from work after she found out, and offered to take me to see OoTP if I wanted to, as a distraction. I took her up on the offer, as I couldn't sleep and it was probably a good idea for me to get away. She also picked up all of Bear's things, saying I wasn't to sit around staring at them. Which I had been. I did keep his favorite littlle vaguely bear shaped stuffed toy though, and I have been sleeping with it all week. It maked me feel a bit better at night to hang on to that.
Anyways, we headed to the mall and had lunch at Red Robin first, and I had a pineapple mojito. I've never had a mojito and it was yummy. It paired especially well with the Xanax I had taken, and the vicodin I had just taken for the start of a headache (overkill? Maybe.). So, by the time we sat down to the movie, I was feeling nicely numb and not all there. Which is why I will need to see OoTP again.
After that, we went shopping. Got new bras and tops. Shopping is good therapy. And when I got home, there were beautiful flowers that Leah, aka ataxia71, had sent to me. A potted mum of the most deepest, rich burgandy color.
And thank you to all of you for your kind words and thoughts. I really appreciate it.
I still miss Bear terribly, but like I said, each day is getting better. My mind is still reeling I think, as I don't feel I am articulating well here and I'm kinda going all over the place here. I wrote an emo poem last night too. I'll post it seperately. It was prompted about how torn I feel abut getting a new dog, which I am. I get her tomorrow. I can't stand not having a furry little being by my side, and I am very lonely at night, and the quietness of that kills me too. Jullie let her little min pin Latte into my room Tuesday morning, and we snuggled, and it felt good.
So, I am bringing Frannie home tomorrow. She's freaking adorable and I would be a fool to pass her up while I waffle about the matter. Her foster mommy had brought her over last Saturday night for me and Bear to meet. I just didn't know at the time that Bear would be gone so soon. Maybe it's fate that she didn't go to another home.
I went shopping for Frannie last night, to buy her pretty new things, and a step, so she could get onto my bed, being how wee she is.
Oh yeah, will be getting Deathy Hallows tommorow after I get Frannie. Can't say I'm going to be able to read it right away, with having to acclimate Frannie into her new home, but at least I will have it in my hot little hands. And I'm so glad that I've been able to remain spoiler free so far. Yay!!