My Bear, my heart......

[tiffosis]

Bear has cancer.

The blood tests confirm it is lymphoma. The cytology results from the needle biopsies done should be back tomorrow and they will indicate how advanced it is. Dr. Dailey will call me tomorrow as soon as she knows and will also have a referral for us to go to an oncologist.

If this is left completely untreated, he has 2-6 weeks to live.

If treated with just steroids, he would have up to 3-6 months.

If it is treatable with chemotherapy, and goes into remission, he would anywhere from 4-6 months to 3 years.

So I will go to the oncologist, to see what he says and find out if this is treatable or not.

And even if it is, can I afford it? It will extremely expensive. And even at that, do I want to put Bear through the side effects involved with chemo.

I just don't know. I crying right now, again. He's only 8 1/2!!

Leah wants me to get a second opinion for him. I really don't think it will make a difference, and besides, Animal Wellness Center and all of the vets there (Dr Dailey included) are UC Davis affiliated. For those out there that may be reading and unfamiliar with UC Davis, it's the top veterinary teaching hospital in California. And yes, I drive Bear all the way from the Bay Area to Davis to see the vet. They're that good. They also combine holistic/eastern medicine with the regular western medicine, and I have seen them save a friends min pin from pancreatitis that all the local vets said was hopeless. So, I really have a lot of faith in them.

My gut tells me tight now, as much as it tears me apart that within months I will not have Bear at my side any longer, is not to do the chemo, and treat it with steroids, so that the time he has remaining is comfortable and pain free. But maybe I am wrong. I just really don't know what to do yet. 

I am also going to contact the pet psychic I used last year when I was having problems with Ruby. She was spot on on things there was no way she could have known (like how many babies she had had, etc), and told me that her left hip was out and that is why she was bucking me off. I had a chiro come look at Ruby after that, and sure enough, her left hip was out. He adjusted her and we were all happy again. A friend also uses her whenever her dogs or horses are ill and she spookily accurate. 

So, I might contact her and find out if Bear is in any pain at all, as he may not even know he is ill right now. And also I can have her check back in with Bear, as this progresses, to find out when he is ready to go, even if I am not ready to let him go. If he says it time, then it will have to be the time to let him go.

I'm rambling.

I called my parents earlier, to let them know. My mom cried, and said all she really wanted to do was to be able to hug me right now, and I want that to.

Her hug, and to have Bear not be sick.