A Winchester's Grimoire

Did I mention that I was LOCKED IN A BATHROOM STALL! yesterday morning?

I kid you not. It happened at work. The latch for the door broke and I couldn't get out. There was no one else in there for like five minutes. My main concern was not that I was stuck next to a toilet, but my phone time (I work in a call center, and get measured on time spent blocked from calls). There was no way I could crawl under the door either.

Someone finally came in, and then I was all embrassed and almost afraid to ask for help. Cause I'm weird that way. Someday, I fear I may be in some life or death situation, and I'll be to afarid to ask for help, because I'm embrassed about it. 

So yeah, I waited until she finished her business and  I was all "Um, Hi - this is Tiffany.......this door broke, and I'm stuck. Can you see if this door has anyway of opening from the outside?". She probably heard, "Hi, I'm Iame and I've locked myself in and I'm too pathetic to get myself out.".

She came over, laughing (cause it is funny) and she messed with the handle and it finally came apart and fell out, and I was able to get out.  I promptly ran to freedom, gave the broken latch to the building manager and then chastised my co-workers for not missing my absence and sending a search party.

And let's not forget that everything in this bathroom is new, it was just remodeled about 2-3 months ago. That's quality workmanship, I tell you.

Howdy all.

I've been quiet and haven't said too much since Monday, but I am managing to deal with Bear's passing, and getting better each day. Not to say there still isn't a huge gaping hole in my heart, but I'm dealing.

So, after I got back from the vet on Monday morning, I took a Xanax, as I was more than a bit traumatized. I tried to lay down and sleep, but was restless and kept getting up and pacing around. And looking at all of Bear's stuff, like his dog dishes and toys.

Jullie, my roomate came home early from work after she found out, and offered to take me to see OoTP if I wanted to, as a distraction. I took her up on the offer, as I couldn't sleep and it was probably a good idea for me to get away. She also picked up all of Bear's things, saying I wasn't to sit around staring at them. Which I had been. I did keep his favorite littlle vaguely bear shaped stuffed toy though, and I have been sleeping with it all week. It maked me feel a bit better at night to hang on to that.

Anyways, we headed to the mall and had lunch at Red Robin first, and I had a pineapple mojito. I've never had a mojito and it was yummy. It paired especially well with the Xanax I had taken, and the vicodin I had just taken for the start of a headache (overkill? Maybe.). So, by the time we sat down to the movie, I was feeling nicely numb and not all there. Which is why I will need to see OoTP again.

After that, we went shopping. Got new bras and tops. Shopping is good therapy. And when I got home, there were beautiful flowers that Leah, aka ataxia71, had sent to me. A potted mum of the most deepest, rich burgandy color. 

And thank you to all of you for your kind words and thoughts. I really appreciate it.

I still miss Bear terribly, but like I said, each day is getting better. My mind is still reeling I think, as I don't feel I am articulating well here and I'm kinda going all over the place here. I wrote an emo poem last night too. I'll post it seperately. It was prompted about how torn I feel abut getting a new dog, which I am. I get her tomorrow. I can't stand not having a furry little being by my side, and I am very lonely at night, and the quietness of that kills me too. Jullie let her little min pin Latte into my room Tuesday morning, and we snuggled, and it felt good.

So, I am bringing Frannie home tomorrow. She's freaking adorable and I would be a fool to pass her up while I waffle about the matter. Her foster mommy had brought her over last Saturday night for me and Bear to meet. I just didn't know at the time that Bear would be gone so soon. Maybe it's fate that she didn't go to another home.

I went shopping for Frannie last night, to buy her pretty new things, and a step, so she could get onto my bed, being how wee she is.

Oh yeah, will be getting Deathy Hallows tommorow after I get Frannie. Can't say I'm going to be able to read it right away, with having to acclimate Frannie into her new home, but at least I will have it in my hot little hands. And I'm so glad that I've been able to remain spoiler free so far. Yay!!

I really haven’t been keeping up here very well. I always have the good intention to do an update, but then get distracted elsewhere or just can’t put the words down. I’ve been really tired too, so I think that has been a factor too. It’s been, what, like two weeks since I’ve posted? Let’s see what’s been going on……

Weather is finally bee-u-tiful, yet I haven’t really had time to go and ride Ruby at all. I really need to get out there and spend time working with her if I plan on competing at all in the near future. Even if I don’t compete due to lack of money, I still need to ride her. It’s only fair.

Had one of my tattoos touched up and it looks fantastic! I had a “dragon-fly” done on my leg last summer and the black outline in some areas did not heal well, and therefore there were some missing spots. My tattoo guy Zeb came over this past Sunday (he’s mobile) and re-did the entire outline. “Sparky” really pops now. The new outline really makes the colors so much brighter. Call me silly for naming a tattoo, but the name is so fitting. He’s a serpentine dragon with wings (cuz I like dragonflies, but didn’t want a run-of-the-mill dragonfly – hence a dragon with wings), and he’s got the snarkiest little expression on his face. He thinks he’s tough. =)

I’ve really been making progress paying off of my debts. I even got money back from 2 companies that I thought I owed. Turns out those accounts had been settled and they did not update the credit bureaus, so it was still showing up on the credit reports. They promised they would correct the errors. So – light at the end of the tunnel?? Just maybe.

So, that leads to my creep out of the week.

With the aforementioned money back, I decided to get new glasses. The ones I have are about 5 years old and have seen better days. They are pretty trashed, plus I get blinder as I get older. I went yesterday to the eye doctor. I think the new glasses are nice looking.

Think? Yes, I think. Can’t be sure, because I was way too distracted by MY OWN CREEPY ASS EYEBALL!!!. Apparently, my eyes take very well to the damn dilating drops, and I lost muscle control for my left eye. So I’m sitting there, trying on frames when I notice my left eye is crossing – keeps going towards my nose. Just the left eye. I stop and rub my eye, thinking that “this can’t be right”, and there it went – I watched my left eye wander from center towards my nose, all by it’s self. Over and over again.

I had a friend with me and she could see it happening too. It grossed her out as much as it did me. She insisted that I not look at her. I don’t blame her. I couldn’t look at myself either. Gag, it was nasty. She went and got the doctor and he explained why, and assured me it was an often normal effect of the drops and not to be alarmed.

Yeah, right. Don’t be alarmed my ass. My eyeball is moving independently of body and I’m not to be alarmed?!?! ACK!!